


[notfic] They wouldn't believe me anyway

by College-Age Zanii (Zaniida)



Series: Amateur Hour [5]
Category: Diagnosis Murder, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Notfic, back when I was watching these two concurrently, just an old idea I had
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:33:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29464323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/pseuds/College-Age%20Zanii
Summary: They would have killed you.  And you don't know how to work the stargate.  There was a pause, as if the thoughts were trying to work out how much to give away.I had to come with you—but I had my mission, too.If she does not return… I will not stay in an unwilling host.  Even if it means my death.And he suddenly understood that to leave him was to die.
Series: Amateur Hour [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1002465
Kudos: 1





	[notfic] They wouldn't believe me anyway

**Author's Note:**

> The plot bunnies that happen when I get invested in two very different shows at the same time...
> 
> Anyway, yeah, I had this idea somewhere around college, and this was about as developed as it got before my brain moved on. I can barely recall Diagnosis Murder in the first place; I recall enjoying it, and watching it every chance I could, but aside from the general feel of the main character... nothing.
> 
> For Stargate, though, I was all into Daniel Jackson and the whole body horror of having an alien take over. I recall plenty of happy daydreams about being captured and subverted like that (fits right into my "Bread-and-Butter Scenario" of futile struggle against captivity/brainwashing).
> 
> I'm still debating where/how I might weave that idea back into my current interests; the closest I've gotten so far is [The Imposter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27301714/chapters/66704680) (Person of Interest fandom).
> 
> At any rate, it being International Fanworks Day, and the emphasis being on smaller fandoms... here's a look at possibly the most unexpected crossover idea I ever came up with, in Notfic form:

_While working on some sort of case about stolen goods and intrigue, Steve happens across a group of Jaffa and a Stargate, and (possibly unconscious at the time) winds up offworld.  
He meets a Tok'ra named Talessa who appears to be human, and they have a short-lived but suspenseful encounter where they try to evade the guards and/or access the Stargate_.

_But then, due to extreme circumstances, she ends up kissing Steve and passing the symbiote to him, because otherwise they're both gonna die._

* * *

From behind a patch of alders, Steve watched the huge stone circle and the half-dozen men who guarded it, their strange armor reflecting the sun.

He felt at once groggy and alert, his mind not quite putting things together but his body primed for action. In his hand was one of those odd energy guns; for a moment, he wondered if he could use it correctly. Then, before he was ready, he centered the gun on the nearest guard and fired.

Three more shots took out three more guards, and then there were only two to deal with. Already they were firing toward him, firing blind, and Steve ducked behind the thickest alder. The odd ozone smell hit him strong. There was shouting in a language he did not know, but he didn't have to think about it; already he was diving out of the trees to take two wild shots at the other guards.

He did not miss.

With six guards down, Steve darted toward the panel in front of the circle. There were symbols there, foreign to him, but his hands knew what to do and he pressed several in quick succession. The circle spun, surprising him; the symbols on it lit up one by one, and then the inside turned blue and whooshed outward like a vortex of water. As soon as the vortex snapped back into the circle, he ran through it.

His stomach roiled; his vision blurred. An instant flu, what he felt upon leaving the vortex. But his body did not stop moving; it turned to the new panel and pressed more symbols. Steve—but it was not Steve—was dialing another world.

He was beginning to realize that, however real it felt, he was not in control of his body. His body moved, fought, and ran as though his instincts had taken over, but something, something was in control, and it wasn't him. As he slipped through vortex after vortex, he was given no time to rest, no time to be sick, and eventually the vortex flu faded beneath an overwhelming weariness. Eight, twelve, fourteen vortexes later, and at last his body did not turn around, did not dial another world. At last his body began to stride toward a broad plain that seemed to cover the entire world. He wanted to look back at the circle, but his head did not turn; he simply walked.

_Apologies_ , came the thoughts, as naturally as if they were his own. _I had no time to explain_.

His body kept walking, toward some definite destination, while he tried to understand—

 _We're at war with those people—the ones you saw guarding the stargate_.

Well, at least he understood all of the words, save one, and he could guess at the one.

 _They would have killed you. And you don't know how to work the stargate_. There was a pause, as if the thoughts were trying to work out how much to give away. _I had to come with you—but I had my mission, too_.

His turbulent thoughts merged into one. _Talessa?_

 _You thought of me as a human, like you. I am human, but also more. Tok'ra—a rebel. A symbiote who lives inside her body_. Another pause. _Before we were joined, her name was Alisade_.

He remembered the warmth of her kiss, just before the sting in the back of his throat.

 _Yes. That was me. If she returns alive, you will see me as I return to her body_.

 _If she returns_ … the thought shook him. To have known her for such a short time…

 _She never spoke to you. You came to know me, not Alisade. You came to know the symbiote_. But a gentle feeling washed over Steve's tumbling emotions. She was the same, even if the form was foreign. _If she does not return, I will leave you… I will not stay in an unwilling host. Even if it means my death_.

And he suddenly understood that to leave him was to die.

But the thoughts came again, before he could form his own. _I will deliver my message. My death will have aided my people more than I can let you know. As will Alisade's_.

His feet stopped. It was a spot on the plain like any other spot, and he saw nothing to mark the area. But he knew that they had reached their destination. And a cage rose up about him, a cage of rings…

* * *

* * *

* * *

_And then Talessa brings the necessary info to the Tok'ra base, and then she ends up piloting Steve's body back through a series of stargates until he's back on Earth, and in the meantime they do get to know each other a bit. But then they have to explain things to the Earth forces:_

* * *

"Alisade has not returned."

"No. But this body has agreed to act as host until we know whether she lives."

"And when we do know?"

"If she has given her life for our people, I will do the same. There is no other host available at present, and it is difficult to move from body to body yet keep my identity."

"Either way, your host has accumulated an overwhelming amount of sensitive information."

"He is accustomed to dealing with sensitive information. But I will let him speak for himself." Steve's head dropped, and his eyes closed for a mere second before he straightened up.

"Sir—General—my name is Steve Sloan. I'm a Lieutenant for the L.A. Police Department, and I've served two tours in the United States Army. I realize that you have no reason to trust me, but I swear on my honor that none of these secrets will pass my lips." He grinned. "Besides, I don't think anyone would believe me. Not even my father. Speaking of whom, I would appreciate it if you could get a message to him… let him know that I'm all right. Doctor Mark Sloan, of Community General Hospital."

General Hammond raised an eyebrow, but motioned to an aide, who brought a pad of paper. Steve wrote a quick note and signed it, and the aide disappeared.

The General passed a hand over his scalp. "Now that you've experienced so much, I trust you understand how important it is to keep it secret from the general public."

"National security," Steve agreed. "No, higher than that. _World_ security. Defending our planet from that kind of threat… it takes precedence over anything else."

"Well, I'm willing to take your word on it." The General straightened his uniform shirt. "But it looks as though you might be here for a while, son."

* * *

_So Steve helps the Tok'ra with their mission, and eventually gives Talessa back to Alisade, and then he ends up asking to be transferred to work with the Stargate program (through whichever roundabout method one applies), and then the one thing he has to contend with is his dad's curiosity and propensity to nose into matters he should leave alone. But since I don't do comedy, I'm not sure what all that would have turned into. Maybe Mark would end up becoming one of the medical staff on base, just to swear him into the Secret Keepers' club and get him to take seriously the fact that this stuff has to be kept out of the public eye._

_Also, I vaguely recall wanting to give Steve a girlfriend who he'd keep for more than an episode, or something. So it's possible that I also had in mind that he's finally found a woman who can hold her own and not get murdered quite so easily, and one he's gotten to know from the inside, so they've connected closer and he's less likely to move on. But as I've gotten to the point where I write almost exclusively non-Ship stuff, it's really hard to put myself back in that mindset and figure out what College Me was up to with the romantic subplot and all._

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to watch Stargate SG-1 a few years ago, and couldn't get into it again. Maybe I was just choosing the wrong episodes; I still love the time loop one, and have fond memories of the body-swap one (especially the actors getting to play each other's mannerisms), and there are a few I could probably still enjoy, but... my brain has moved on.
> 
> But if I'd been trying to actively write fanfics back at the time, I would definitely have written some Stargate fics. And it's possible that elements of the show will show up in my current fandoms; who knows?


End file.
